What am I worth? What are any of us worth? There’s really no day like Valentine’s Day to cement your worth, a day where one’s worth is material. What if you get a bouquet of flowers? Roses? Daisies? Weeds? Are you worth just a card? Handwritten? Custom? Embossed? What about jewelry? A watch? Some earrings? Maybe even a ring?

What if you get nothing? If you are worth nothing in material value, then what is the point?  The point of this day? The point of seeing happier and more attractive people who are not lonely? 

That is why I hate Valentine’s Day, the day where I feel so small and unloved in a country that prizes material goods over emotions. The day where I see so many happy people and I am confused that I don’t mirror their emotions.

It’s the day where everyone funnels their love into money and gifts and favors. Where $20 is worth more than “I love you.” 

We were born and raised to work and be faithful consumers, to be a cog in a machine until we’ve rusted. So it makes sense that a day for love is in reality a day of goods to trade and barter for affection.

This all forms transactional relationships, which are just investments disguised as  relationships. All people in relationships give each other things in order for a good return. Therein lies the twisted nature of present day Valentine’s Day, a day where these types of relationships are celebrated and normalized.

I’m not saying giving gifts to one another is a mark of a toxic relationship, but if these material items are more important than emotional feelings, then it may morph into something more problematic. 

As well as the normalization of transactional relationships, this day also breeds toxic positivity. A day like your birthday where if you’re not happy, then what’s wrong with you? Whether you’re single, dating, or “it’s complicated,” you have to enjoy this day. 

Toxic positivity is something that has become mainstream thanks to social media, where you always have to be positive. You have to be perfect and happy every minute of the day and what better day to be at your happiest than Valentine’s Day because love (I guess). 

So the real question is, how do we reclaim Valentine’s Day? I personally don’t want to reclaim it. I personally am fine with hating it and there is certainly a chance I’ll change my tune if I’m ever in a healthy, positive relationship. But for now, I’m fine and dandy with basking in my hate for this day.

But, I want everyone to know that your worth doesn’t have to be defined by everyone else. If you want to be worth a diamond ring, you are worth it! A box of chocolates? Sure, why not. You can be worth anything because in the end nothing matters, least of all Valentine’s Day.