Elliot Armitage & Paige Andersen, A&E Editor and Sports Editor
Originally published Feb 28, 2020

The Good by Elliot Armitage

Think, for a second, about how many of those disgusting high school couples you see smooching to high heaven every year on Feb. 14 Now, imagine having to see that nauseating scene every single day of the year. That’s the world that Valentine’s Day haters are trying to create.

If you were lonely on Feb. 14 be thankful that you only had to endure one day of hyper- focused romance. It’s in your best interests to contain the disease. 

Do you have a Valentine? If not, why are you crying about it? Take this opportunity to turn your crippling loneliness into motivation. The worst things are often the best motivators, like capitalism.

Valentine’s Day is no different. If you don’t have a Valentine, it serves as a day of reflection, a time to transform your pain into constructive character-building; if you do, it’s a day to appreciate your significant other, which is an objectively good thing.

Holidays have indeed become more of a consumerist jerk-off than an actual celebration. However, to advocate for the death of a holiday simply because of that consumerism is ridiculous. To give up, to say that celebrating holidays is pointless because of how intertwined they have become with capitalism would be to let our economic system claim victory over our emotions. 

If you don’t have the means to spend exuberantly on your valentine, I sincerely hope that your significant other is an understanding, kind person. At worst, Valentine’s Day is a litmus test for a–holes who value material wealth over love.

In the end, I agree. Valentine’s Day should not be the peak of a relationship; it should simply be a day of appreciation. There’s no reason to get rid of Valentine’s Day altogether, though. What would that accomplish? Feb. 14 would just be another normal day living in the dingy, overcast city, another unbearable high school morning.

And the worst of all these mitigable complaints: the mascot. What would you rather it be, a high school couple going at it in the hallway? A naked adult wearing a diaper that shoots arrows at people? Shut up, baby hater.

rWhen Valentine’s Day comes around, it has the same effect on me as when I see that one couple making out in the middle of the hallways. That feeling is uncomfortable, unnecessary and the underlying message being sent to you is that you’re single and alone.  

I know that I’m not the only one when it comes to my hatred towards the so called holiday. Those who don’t have a Valentine dread Feb. 14, while those who do have one are creating high expectations for themselves that will most likely be crushed.

My earliest memories of Valentine’s Day are in elementary school when my classmates and I would have to pass out cheesy, store-bought cards to each other with a single Hershey kiss on it. This is what started the consumerism that feeds into the holiday. According to the National Retail Federation in 2018, the United States spent an estimated $19.6 billion on Valentine’s Day products.

The holiday encourages showing love and affection through tangible items and if you don’t receive any of those store bought products, you just feel alone and can’t wait till Feb. 15 when that box of chocolates is half off.

The holiday is plagued with fake romance and is designed for couples who already flaunt their relationship during the other 364 days of the year. It’s hard to blame them; society — or rather the consumers market — has shaped Valentine’s Day image into something so magical when it’s really not. 

Valentine’s Day is all about romance and although it may give someone a reason to give their crush a love letter, the real romantic thing to do is to be spontaneous. 

Don’t wait till the day everyone else is buying their loved one a bouquet of flowers or a pair of sparkling earrings. Valentine’s Day takes away the surprise of romance and makes it seem less special and unoriginal. Don’t wait for a specific day to show your loved ones that you love and appreciate them. 

Also the “mascot” for the holiday is a diaper wearing baby that shoots arrows at people. Who signed off on that?